“Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”
There are a few problems with this Commandment. First, of course, is that it takes what is an emotional bond based upon respect and love and turns it into an order. That does nothing to sanctify the special relationship of parents and their children. On the contrary, it cheapens and denigrates it.
Second, it’s an absolute for which there are – unfortunately – not an insignificant number of situations that call for its disregard. Some parents don’t deserve to be honored by their children, either choosing not to meet their children’s needs or – worse – abusing their children. To be sure, they are relatively few, for the love of a parent for rees child is a love like no other. And (in pondering this reality) we might ask how an omniscient and omnipotent god could create humans who would purposefully inflict harms upon anyone, much less their own offspring. But the fact remains that – for some children – honoring a mother and/or a father is manifestly inappropriate.
It might be noted that – again – the laws of the United States are not based on this Commandment. Nor have they ever been. In dealing with child custody, the initial approach was to assert that children were property, that only men could own property, and that, therefore, mothers often unjustifiably lost their rights to nurture and love their children. This is certainly not a methodology that comports with this Fifth Commandment.
We then turned to the “tender years” doctrine, where it was alleged that only females had the proper tools and skills to care for youngsters. As a result, the honor children would have given their fathers – due to the interferences of the state governments – was abridged.
Now we have a different doctrine (the “best interests of the child”) that does little except allow the completely unwarranted intrusion by judges – relying upon “professionals” and “experts” with no proven skills – such that they arbitrarily impose by fiat conditions that routinely interfere with the honor about which the Fifth Commandment speaks. Thus, although the idea of the sanctity of the parent-child bond is one that should be followed, it is not followed by the laws of the various states. Accordingly, it is ridiculous to claim that the laws of this nation are based upon the Ten Commandments. Five out of its first five are not followed at all.
We at FACTS believe that a familial bond – especially that between a parent and a child – is extraordinary and unique. For the parent, nothing is more important in life than to support, love and nurture rees child. No joy is greater than watching that person grow, and giving all to make that growth as happy and fulfilling as is humanly possible. For the child, the security and love that a parent provides is key to rees development, and the anchor by which rees entire personhood will be based. If ever there were a sin, it would be the unjustified intrusion and injury to this most sacred relationship.